Detroit Automakers A Relic Of The Past
Celebrity Fires Consume the Media
To Battle Stations
Failure To Blow Election Stuns Democratic Party Faithful Mourn End To Losing Tradition
Looking Past Palin
The Earth’s Not Flat and It’s Not Warming
A Force For Good -- But Not At State
Palin Saboteurs Want to Kill Her Career Now
As GM Goes, So Goes The GOP
A Kinder Gentler DC
Quantum Of Nonsense
Obama's School Choice
And They're Off
They Shilled For Obama
The Tricky Obamas-Clintons Relationship
Leaving Home
From Victim To Victor In Black America
They Gave All, For . . . This?
'No' To Obama'S Experimental Government
The Same Old Change
New Books
Palin's Next Career Move
Leaders Duck And Hide While Wall Street Steals From Us
Can Obama Pull Off A Historic Presidential Double Play?
A Bridge We Need
Trusting Paulson
The Secret Of Happiness
Hope And Vision
'Keynsian Moment' Needed To Fight 'Great Recession'
A Lemon Of A Bailout
For Obama, A Game Of High-Stakes Fiscal Poker
No One Should Be Railin' Or Bailin' On Palin
Believing Your Own ... Um, Propaganda
Post-Election Potpourri
The Insane Rage Of The Same-Sex Marriage Mob
Sarah Palin Is Not The Future Of The GOP
Walking On Sunshine
Hillary Appointment: The Audacity Of Broken Promises
GOP Needs Night Of The Long Knives
Obama's Washington
The New World Financial Order
A Bomb Thrower Vs. Obama Bashers
Let'S Hope Gop Will Give Us SomeThing To Vote For Rather Than Against
Is Gay The New Black?
DiscriminaTion Still Lives
The Truth about Government
The Republican Party is a Grass-Roots Party
Welcome To The Wired White House
Note To Gop: Get Serious About Women Candidates
Revenge Of The Boxes
Cold War Hawks Nesting With Obama
Let Them Eat Spam
Choices Have Consequences -- Unless You're Joe Lieberman
Dean: Dems 'Big Tent' Party Now
Don't Bail Out the Big 3 -- Interview With Dan Ikenson
Business Unusual
Blind Defense of Koran Abrogates Reality
Some Of My Best Friends Are…
In Detroit, Failure's a Done Deal
Evil Concealed By Money
The Clinton Gamble



In Week Before Labor Day, Pointless
Andy Borowitz 9/1/2008
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Lazy Columnists Pad Out Stories by Quoting Experts, Experts Say

In a phenomenon that occurs every year in the week before Labor Day, national columnists across America are filing pointless, content-free "filler" columns, enabling the lazy scribes to hit the beach earlier, according to observers who have been following this trend.

The "filler" columns are churned out in a matter of minutes with no loftier goal than meeting a deadline and filling up space — meaning that columnists will often resort to using the same words or phrase again and again and again and again and again.

And rather than doing any original writing, the slothful columnists will rely on so-called "experts" to supply them with quotes to fill up space, experts say. "They'll often quote people you've never heard of," says Harold Crimmins, an expert in the field of filler columns. "It's pretty shameless."

The typical "filler" column is often a reprint of a previously published column, but the writer will later plug in one cursory reference to current events, such as the 2008 Beijing Olympics, to disguise this fact.

And in order to fill up space even faster, Crimmins says, the lazy beach-bound columnist will compose his summer "filler" columns with short paragraphs.

Many of these paragraphs will be as short as one sentence, he says. "Or shorter," he adds.

There are other telltale signs a reader can look for in order to determine whether a writer has, in fact, filed a so-called "filler" column, according to Crimmins.

One of these is a tendency to repeat information that the reader has already read earlier in the article, with columnists even stooping to using the same quote twice.

"They'll often quote people you've never heard of," Crimmins says.

Another tip-off is if the column ends abruptly.

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By RJ Matson - The St. Louis Post Dispatch * Posted 8/29/2008 12:00:00 AM
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© Copyright 2008  RJ Matson - All Rights Reserved.

Posted By: WENDY  on Monday, September 01, 2008

THANKS FOR A GREAT LAUGH...ENJOY YOUR DAY AT THE BEACH.  


Posted By: Mountain West Bob  on Monday, September 01, 2008

One of Andy Borowitz's better efforts. 'Tis a slow news day, with only the reduced hurricane and an enexpected pregnancy to enliven things here in the U.S of A. Guess a filler column is about the most we can expect.


Posted By: Mountain West Bob  on Monday, September 01, 2008

One of Andy Borowitz's better efforts. 'Tis a slow news day, with only the reduced hurricane and an enexpected pregnancy to enliven things here in the U.S of A. Guess a filler column is about the most we can expect.


Posted By: Kay in Olympia  on Monday, September 01, 2008

Oh, I laughed out loud! Thanks, hope you enjoy the beach!


Posted By: Wood Lands  on Monday, September 01, 2008

Ha ha ha! These columns account for 90% of what's on Cagle's newsletter!  Oh, if only we could unsubscribe!


Posted By: Ecor  on Monday, September 01, 2008

On the non-lighter side is a simple fact.  Had not the heavy-handed demanding labor unions such as the teamsters and the AWL/CIO not taken advantage of 'good times', the auto industry 'big-3' would not now be in danger of bankruptcy and we would have a more cheaper railway system and less need for highway maintaince year after year.

Sorry to spoil the 'party'

Do I mean it?

Yes...


Posted By: Steve Stevens...  on Monday, September 01, 2008

Right-on Ecor..  With any luck, someone will figure that one out...


Posted By: Steve D.  on Monday, September 01, 2008

Interesting, how millions of Americans are unemployed and cannot find work, yet millions of uneducated illegal aliens who can hardly speak the language of our land, yet alone read or write can find work?  Is there something wrong here?  Maybe being unemployed and on the government dole pays too well while requiring little effort?  Now, Sen. Obama wants guaranteed health care for all and tax refunds to those who pay no taxes.   What ever happened to earning a high standard of living with all the associated benefits?  That use to be the American way.  The Socialist way was to guarantee all a subsistence standard of living.  Guess the American love for hard work and Capitalism has become obsolete?


Posted By: Ecor  on Monday, September 01, 2008

Thanks Steve; but no one up for election or presently in the US Congress or above would dare publicly agree.


Posted By: Ecor  on Monday, September 01, 2008

Steve D.:  Amen


Posted By: Pete  on Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Weak, ignorant, intolerant Repug fools.  The greatest, most productive, most creative nations in this world have guaranteed health care for ALL citizens.  And it makes our backward, inferior system look like what it is - culpably pathetic.  1950s rhetoric.  Same Republiscum ignorance and fear and selfishness.  Little people on this blog NEED to pretend to "identify" w the ultra-wealthy.  Always been that way.  A deep need to somehow erase the stigma of their own childhood inadequacies and less-than-even-middleclass upbringings.  Yeah, I can afford the best inferior healthcare the U.S. has to offer, but damned few others can.

But Repugs wouldn't even know the difference.  They refuse to even attempt to learn, thus remain ignorant of this subject as w all others.

Wait'll Moose-Killin, Moose-Eatin Mama, that backwoods hockey -mom hillbilly shows us her vastitude of experiences.  And if you don't behave yourselves according to her high family values, "God'll surely git chew!!"  Praise Geesussa- hits gonna git evun better!  Words real Repubs can identify with and relate to.  Stand proud - along with 3.8 total-hours-in-combat War Hero McShame and his more than 30 years of that "hero" sled ride.


Posted By: fencerider rob  on Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Somebody must have pissed in Pete's wheaties. Probably a republican by his democRAT rant.


Posted By: Headshot  on Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Wood Lands, are you really so stupid that you haven't figured out how to delete emails without reading them or how to label emails as spam so they will automatically be sent to your spam folder? Either method will keep you from having to sully your intelligence by commenting in The Cagle Post. Actually, I think that you truly enjoy reading the columns and cartoons here. Otherwise, why would you continue to comment on column after column? I mean...nobody could really be that stupid, right?


Posted By: Stug  on Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Ecor, I'll grant you that the unions have gotten some pretty hefty pay/benefit contracts with the Big 3, but the companies signed those contracts.  As I recall, you were also one of the vocal opponents to helping any of the unfortunate people who were trapped in mortgages that were beyond their means because they were fool enough to sign the contractsand therefore had their homes foreclosed and taken from them.  I expect a little consistency, even from people whom I disagree with.  By you own logic in the foreclosure issue, the Big 3 now have economic issues that are of their own making and they should suck-it-up.  They have also contributed to their economic woes by designing vehicles that nobody now wants.

All of the major manufacturers dabbled with electric cars at least a decade ago, oil was cheap and instead of planning for the future they maximized profits in the short-term.  That worked well for them until now.  Now, though, their lack of foresight is coming back to haunt them.

The Big 3 are now saddled with enormous pay and pension obligations that make it difficult for them to compete with the Japanese and other manufacturers.  Concessions will be needed from both the labor and management sides, as well as more attention paid in the design phases to what customers want and what the current economic and environmental situations demand if they want to become dominant again.

As to the lack of "more cheaper" railway systems, I don't know the numbers, but I wouldn't be at all surprised to find that the automakers lobbyists have more to do with why rail transit isn't more prevalent.  After all, the rail-workers would most likely only swell the numbers of the unions.



Sorry to spoil your pity-party.


Posted By: Stug  on Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Steve D. posted - "Interesting, how millions of Americans are unemployed and cannot find work, yet millions of uneducated illegal aliens who can hardly speak the language of our land, yet alone read or write can find work?  Is there something wrong here?"



Yes, there is.  The government keeps arresting immigrants and doesn't address the situations that make it attractive for them to come in the first place.  After their illegal employees get arrested and deported, what happens to the employers?  Nothing, at least nothing substantial.  If the Fed wants to slow illegal immigration they need to make some real examples of the agricultural, meat-packing, and other industries that hire illegals.  US companies hire illegals because they can pay them lower wages and few, if any, benefits, and they are easy to scare into working long hours and keeping quiet about the abuse.  Most of our illegal immigration problem is driven by the greed of the companies that enable it. Once real laws with teeth get passed and a few millionaire company CEOs go to prison, hiring illegals will taper off.  Couple this with functional guest-worker programs to satisfy the labor needs of US companies and the majority of the problem will go away.



As for your other comment: - "What ever happened to earning a high standard of living with all the associated benefits?  That use to be the American way."

True, but that started sliding in the 60's as real wages began losing buying power compared to the rising cost of living, and has continued to the present.  I saw an article that compared the original minimum wage to today's, adjusted for cost of living increases, the original minimum wage workers would be making in the neighborhood of $14/hr as opposed to about $7/hr, a 50% loss of spending power over about 30 years.  Where has all of this money gone?  Look to the multimillion dollar salaries of today's CEOs and their social counterparts.

I personally believe that universal health care is the way to go and is ultimately inevitable.  However, if you want to try to maintain the insurance companies hegemony over the well-being of the nation, by all means, require people to buy health insurance, but pay them enough to do it.

You also posted "The Socialist way was to guarantee all a subsistence standard of living."  Well congratulations on becoming lower than a Socialist.  By supporting the current hierarchy and standards, all are not even guaranteed a base level of subsistence, no matter how hard they have worked.  Most of the working class are only one major illness away from bankruptcy and a life of indebtedness.

I don't know what your socio-economic standing is but I would guess your a fair ways up the ladder or have never had a financially-crippling illness hit anyone in your family.  Most people who hold your views do so out of ignorance of what it is like to be in that situation.  If I'm wrong, and you clawed your way up from nothing then congratulations, and have a little empathy.


Posted By: jack sprat  on Tuesday, September 02, 2008

fencerider rob

Why would anyone want his "toasties" to taste better? He did forget that most of those "advanced" civilizations only came to the country they also thought "backward and ignorant" to save their communal @$$es twice, and stop the killing they caused, through the Chamberlain/obama. Also lagging is the list of successes so profound that only the healthy get much help and that their failures are mounting up so badly that many if not most are opting to have additional private pay services, which kind of negates the whole "universal" part of health care. In Canada, who had the most complaints and “reduce the wait for an MRI from a national median of 12.4 weeks”, because “Canada has fewer MRI machines per capita than Latin America. Europe? “Over the last ten years, Sweden has introduced a host of fee-for-service reforms, and the government now permits private health insurance. These moves have reduced waiting periods for equipment and surgeries, by 50 percent in some cases. Canada is the only industrialized democracy in the world that flatly prohibits private insurance of any kind.”

Sure make you want to just jump on board the $10 trillion tax increase train, to get that failing program for us “ignorant” American throw backs, rather than fix the parts of ours that needs fixing, but like the guy said, “fools and their money are soon parted.”

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1282/is_22_54/ai_94960947

Please don't forget to congradulate "Sweden" apparently the wait for an MRI is now only 6.2 weeks, hope you don't die. They have cut costs in not treating the old and the less useful, one guy who needed a heart transplant couldn't get it because he smoked. Good for them, selective kindness. Hey, if we don't bring any babies into the world we can save a whole lotta bucks....


Posted By: jack sprat  on